It's hard discussing how I miss my mom with people who still insist on saying "sorry, I know it's really hard" when it's only been two months. It's hard talking about her with my siblings even. It just reminds me of so many things that she's ever done for me, for my siblings, and for my dad. She was "super mom" who did everything in her power to keep the family close. I miss her so terribly when I think about what's missing in my life. And even though I know so many feel the same sadness for the loss of my mom, I still sometimes feel alone.
Today, however, I talked to an acquaintance whose sister passed away this past spring. He talked about how it was really hard, even out on his mission, constantly thinking of Christ and having the Spirit with him. It makes me think how lucky he was to have that, to be constantly reminded of eternity and the Plan of Salvation, that our families are together forever. But, this helped me realize that I really need to keep up with my spiritual needs. I love going to church and institute and reading my scriptures everyday because it gives me comfort in joy in a world full of hate and sadness. I just wish I could do more to feel it more consistently.
Something that made my day that I totally wasn't expecting was a message from my aunt. With the worry of school always on the brain, the planning of next semester's classes opening this week, and making sure I'm ready to receive my Associates' this Spring, emotions have been flying high. But, when I got on FB and read "I think you should go. Spread your wings and fly." it gave me a reassurance that I can do anything I put my mind to. It made me feel like there are still people behind me, cheering me on to having a better, happier life.
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