Being the first one since my mom's death, I didn't know what to expect. What helped me the most, however, was starting my day by essentially writing a letter to my mom in my journal. I wrote it as if I was going to give it to her, reflecting on memories, thanking her for all she's done for me, and telling her everything I missed about her. Getting all those feelings out on paper kept me strong the rest of the day!
I was still nervous to receive too much attention in my singles ward, so I went to my family's ward. This was a great deal on my part because more people said hello to me in my home ward than I'd receive in my singles ward on a good day. People were so nice and understanding, and especially the Love family who also endured the loss of their mother or wife last fall. It was great to feel the love and support of those who knew either me or my family.
This evening my family also went to the cemetery. My mother's headstone was finally put in this last week, so we saw it for the first time reading VAN KOMEN over the top and her name a dates of birth and death beneath it. Reading the fact that she was gone on stone wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be. I felt a great sense of peace and love for my mother through the Spirit. I was so grateful that she made the decision to be married to my dad in the temple so that our family could be together forever. I know that this separation is only for a short time.
What a wonderful idea to write your thoughts down on paper. I found that if I anticipate, pray, and prepare for times that could be difficult, it goes a little bit easier than I always think it will. You are a strong woman and a great example for all of us. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love you.
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