My best friend, "Jay", went into the MTC three days ago, and I miss him a lot! He was the one I always called after late in the night when I felt like crying. He was with me through the roughest parts of my life, helping me stay strong as my mom fought cancer. He'd even come over and comfort me at 1 in the morning sometimes, if it ever got too hard to talk about my struggles in staying faithful.
Tuesday night after saying goodbye I broke down. I couldn't call him because he was already a missionary. I wouldn't get to see him for two years. He was so excited to leave that he didn't cry. I felt like he wouldn't miss me, but then I remembered it's not about me. I became angry at myself for not being happy for him at that moment. But still, he was the only one I could tell everything without feeling judged... except for my mom. I cried because the last time I'd cried that hard she was there to comfort me. I wanted her so badly during that hour. I wanted a hug from her, I wanted to feel her love as I cried and worried about my welfare for the next few years.
Trying to get up for school on Wednesday was really difficult. My eyes, still puffy from the night before, wanted to keep resting. I was achy, and I didn't have anything to look forward to. I used to always have plans with "Jay", and all my other friends were away at school, had to work, or were with their boyfriends. But hey, staying home all day forced me to do my homework.
Things have gotten better since then. With school, work, and my family I've definitely kept busy. Now I'm just always anxious to check the mail. I want to find an envelope from my missionary.
"come unto me all ye that labor and are Heavy laden" You are loved more than you know, here and where your mom is.
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