The One Year Mark

It's been one year since my mom passed away today. It's nice to stop and think about her often, but what really helped was saying it out loud. Last night we had a family meeting. All of us who live in Utah gathered at my dad's house and the other two got on Google Plus at 6 o'clock so we could all listen to each other at once.

My dad had us all go around listing all the events that happened in the last year: birthdays, holidays (especially Christmas,) two engagements, one wedding, a birth, three graduations and another (me) getting their Associates' Degree. All the major life events occurred in the last year, and it's by no coincidence. I think these are all the joyful blessings that have kept me and my family happy, having something to look forward to rather than looking back on that great and dreadful day that our mom died. When the events came up, though, it was hard. Our mom wasn't there to cheer us on, we couldn't look at her and see her smile at us. It was the best to look at mom and see her joy for us, to see us moving along successfully.

Next up was what she taught us and how we've adjusted our lives to live it, or what we plan to do after this year. I mentioned her love for God's creations, her thankfulness, and willingness to serve. My other siblings mentioned being nice, hard-working, organized, an avid scripture studier, etc. She lived her life as an example of how Christ lived his life. She was the ultimate role model to us.

What we miss about her being here is how we could call her up and talk to her at any time about anything, and she'd listen. Not only would she listen, but she showed us she cared, that she was interested in what we were doing with our lives and how we're doing. We miss her cooking, her most amazing home-cooked meals. One sister thought it a disgrace that my dad bought so much ready-made food, including TV dinners. It's also been hard on me to always be home by 5 or earlier to start making dinner, no matter what huge project I had to do, paper I had to write, or fun activity I was doing that afternoon, I had to be home. I've felt obligated to try and fill the space that my mom left gaping open, and those shoes are hard to fill.

My mother was just plain amazing and because of her I want to be a better person.

Love you, mom. Miss you!